Escaping Your Comfort Zone
Looking to challenge yourself with your fashion choices? I'll help you find the guts to wear that dress you exiled to the back of your closet!
I love my comfort zone as much as the next person.
I don’t want to hustle, constantly have to girl boss—don’t you hate that term too?—or climb the corporate ladder. I want to live a quiet life.
Society would call me lazy and unambitious—like, what? I can’t be content? I might as well be the spokesperson for staying in your comfort zone until the day you die.
I told my friend this, and he was like, “Are you really a Libra?”
Well, I’m willing to hang my Libra flag up for retirement if this means staying in my little cozy nest.
However, the opposite is true for my fashion choices. If you don’t know me, you know I’m a Maximalist through and through, and I constantly like trying new things! I guess I won’t have to get my Libra card rebuked after all—phew!
I see fashion as art, as a form of self-expression, and as another medium to have fun, so I’d like to think I know a thing or two about leaving the comfort zone.
Ditching it for greener pastures—aka better style—can feel liberating, and by the end of this blog, I’m hoping you’ll feel more equipped to step outside of your own element.
Before proceeding, please keep in mind that I’ll be talking about body issues. If this is something that triggers you, take a step back, breathe, and maybe come back to this post when you’re ready. People with eating disorders might also want to proceed with caution.
Why escape your comfort zone?
Because you want it!
You’re reading this because you want to explore uncharted territory, and that’s what’s most important—that you’re curious and willing.
And look—I’m not pushing you to go outside your comfort zone. If you want to stay there, that’s pretty great. I’m glad you already found something that makes you feel safe in your own skin! But why are you here, girl?
Go read something else, like my other articles—just kidding.
Because you don’t have to limit yourself to what society deems beautiful
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People—and I’m talking about women specifically here—can be something other than beautiful and thin.
Imagine the fact that you can be anything else—smart, funny, compassionate, friendly, welcoming, confident, warm— and all society cares about is how you look.
Afraid to wear a body-hugging dress because it shows your pooch, and you’re afraid people are going to find it disgusting?
First of all, it’s not. I’m sorry people made you feel that way. I hope you’re being kinder to yourself and coping with it in a healthy way.
Second, like I said, you’re so much more than your appearance! Don’t sell yourself short when you’re a good listener, a caring friend, or a smart problem solver at work.
Because you want to live more authentically
Okay, you’re wearing what society says you should, but is that really you? Maybe you want to get more piercings, dress more colorfully, wear more accessories, or put on bright-colored eyeshadow because it’s something you’ve always wanted.
Escaping your fashion comfort zone to live a more authentic life is one of the best things you can do for yourself.
If you can’t do so because of certain restrictions, like dress codes at your job or school, I’m sorry—that sucks!
Maybe you can relish in your little rebellions, like wearing funky socks with your trousers or having a small tattoo somewhere hidden.
Because life is too short to care about what people think
If it makes you feel any better, no one else knows about your insecurities unless you tell them. I could look at you and never guess what you don’t really like about yourself.
Also, I don’t remember the strangers I saw yesterday, what their bodies looked like, or whether they had body hair, discoloration, or cellulite.
There’s a really good poem I read when I was in high school, but I forgot who the author is. It goes, “Don’t let others’ eyes be your cage,” and that has stuck with me ever since.
Honestly, I need to remind myself of this too. I have good and bad days, so don’t beat yourself up if you’re having a hard time. Instead, commend yourself for doing something you’re scared of.
Why is it so damn hard to leave your comfort zone?
Insecurities
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Call me a mind reader, but I’m willing to bet three 1 kg tubs of Chobani Greek yogurt that the reason you don’t want to try something new is your insecurities. It breaks my heart whenever I hear people longingly say they want to wear a piece of clothing but are just too insecure about a specific body part.
If it makes you feel any better, I’m exactly the same.
Deep-Rooted Beliefs
It can be challenging to break free from what you grew up believing. All my life, I saw my mom look at herself in the mirror and beat herself up because her stomach never went back to being flat after having kids.
It was awful witnessing this, considering mine was bigger than hers, so it was like she was indirectly telling me that having a belly was something that needed to be changed.
Even now, there are days when it’s hard to look at myself in the mirror because of it. Of course, it doesn’t help that this way of thinking is so rampant because of diet culture.
People’s Judgement
People are so self-conscious about how others perceive them. Hey, I’m not judging—I know this because I’m the same way.
Do you want to know a secret? A lot of people are equally self-conscious that they might not even have enough time to judge you.
And sure, even if they judge you, would you really let them take the reins in how you live your life?
On your deathbed, would you rather think about how nice it was that you pleased everyone, or are you going to relish the fact that you lived your life exactly how you wanted it?
Unfamiliarity
It’s hard to leave your comfort zone because, well, it’s comfortable! Unfamiliarity is scary, as it comes with uncertainties. Also, everything happening outside our cozy little bubble feels a lot more uncontrollable.
But let me ask you this: how did you find your comfort zone? There’s a big chance you found it because you tried something new. Everything was once new to us!
How do I escape my comfort zone?
Build Your Support System
Whatever you want to try, it’s important that you’re not surrounding yourself with haters who ridicule everything you do. You deserve better than that!
If possible, distance yourself from them. Though, I understand it could be hard, especially if it’s a family member.
This is why it’s important to build a support system so that there are people there to remind you that you’re the shit —not you’re shit— because it can be hard to believe it ourselves if there’s no one to tell us.
It could be your small group of friends, a partner, a pet (why not?), a therapist, or whatever support looks like to you.
My girlfriend has been an instrumental factor in helping me gain the courage to wear clothes that show my insecurities. If someone loves me despite the things I hate about myself, maybe they’re not so bad.
Do One Small Thing Until it Becomes Significant
You don’t have to dive right in entirely. You can just test the waters first!
For example, you want to show off your skin more, but you’re still feeling too shy and self-conscious. There are two things I suggest you do:
1. Ease into it
Let’s say you want to wear short skirts. How about stepping outside to throw the trash or grabbing something from the convenience store while wearing one? You don’t have to immediately wear it to a full-day excursion!
2. Wear a toned-down version of what you want to achieve
Want to have the confidence to wear a tube top without outerwear to throw over it?
Okay, how about trying a tank tap with thick straps first? A vest can also work!
Then, you can see how you like spaghetti straps on you. After you’ve adjusted, transitioning to tube tops might be easier than you thought!
Face Your Insecurities
You’re going to hate me for this, but you have to face your insecurities, especially if what you want requires it. Want to be doused in pastel colors but feel like it doesn’t suit your skin tone? Well, why not try it anyway?
Also, consider going to therapy. You don’t have to tackle these issues alone, especially if there are underlying problems that make it hard for you to escape your comfort zone.
You can check out Silakbo’s website for mental health resources. If you’re not from the Philippines, I’m sure you can easily find one in your location by using a search engine!
Change the Media You Consume
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The type of media we consume affects the way we think. If we only follow celebrities who have obviously been on Ozempic but continue to deny it, creating another unattainable standard, it won’t be beneficial to our mental health.
Shift to those who are vocal about living their truth.
Or, instead of following influencers and celebrities, follow art accounts or queer people who are unapologetically themselves.
I like following people with the same body type as me. Watching them be confident inspires me to embrace parts of me I hate.
Alternatively, you can also start reading more books, getting into different hobbies, or starting a blog. Think for yourself. You don’t have to mindlessly scroll anymore if you don’t want to, especially if it’s sucking the soul out of you.
Prioritize Your Happiness
If you think leaving your comfort zone can make you happy, then, by all means, do it. In case no one has told you yet, you deserve to be happy. Forget the naysayers, the fears, and the insecurities if happiness is waiting for you down the line.
Live in the Moment
Don’t be inside your head too much; be present. You might miss the most exciting moments of your life! Wear that outfit, call your friends, go on a date, enjoy a slice of cake, and just live.
i needed to read this! i always encourage people to wear whatever they want, but i never follow that advice for myself. but thanks to you, i'm slowly coming out of my shell of insecurity and living as visually authentic as i can be!!